I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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