I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
