Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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