Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
soo... how was my night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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