we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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