Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
