nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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