OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
