dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
