Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
