We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
