During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
