This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
