With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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