Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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