i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
