dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
