Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
