got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
