I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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