Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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