do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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