a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
