glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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