you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
