So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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