I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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