VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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