i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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