dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
