Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't deserve a penis
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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