Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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