I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
