two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
