My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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