yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
