he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
