if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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