i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
