whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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