yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
