Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
