so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
