some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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