So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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