Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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