Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
