bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
