just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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