how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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