just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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