your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
