hell yes lets make some ravioli
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
